Turning Pain into Purpose: The Remarkable Story of Pastor Ifeoma Chigbogwu

We all have various experiences at different points in life.

One of mine, was widowhood. I was quite young with a two months old baby.

I had come back from work, very tired. I got the job after the child birth hence not eligible for maternity leave.

It was evening around 21:00 Nigerian time and my daughter’s nanny was trying to make her food when suddenly the hot water flask fell from her hand and shattered into pieces.It was a bad omen.

I knew but did not want to dwell on it. I calmly asked her to clean up the mess and boil another water for baby’s food with the kettle.

I was half asleep and half awake, struggling hard to keep awake as I had to take a shower and bond with baby a bit, before retiring for the night when the doorbell rang and sounded persistent and distant. I walked to the door and opened it. Strange looking men walked in. I recognized just one.

My husband’s uncle. They wore very long faces and though they greeted warmly and tried to smile, the atmosphere was extremely refrigerated. I welcomed them, offered them seats and instinctively started calling my husband. His phone was switched off.

My heart became heavy. I panicked. I asked my guests if all was well and they responded in what appeared to be a well-rehearsed chorus “Yes, all is well. Just that there is a small problem. Your husband was involved in an accident”. I heard nothing else after that.

I will not want to dwell on that day, it was bad news. No matter how they tried to manage me. I somehow knew the worst had happened and I literarily died myself. It was a traumatic period. If I start to relive them, I will be opening old wounds but what I want to bring out from this story is my personal resolve.

A lot happened before the burial, during the burial and after the burial. The advice that worked most for me was the one I gave to myself.

I made up my mind that my experience would not destroy me but would make my life beautiful. How that was going to happen, I did not know but I told myself that rather than sit down and “pity party that it rained on me”, I should quietly buy an umbrella and bear the rain.

I stirred up my internal strength and remained focused and determined that Widowhood would not define me.

True to my resolve, that experience did not break or destroy me and there is absolutely nothing that I have set out to achieve, that I have not achieved. These days, I enjoy affecting lives and assisting everyone I come in contact with, to be empowered and transformed. I always ensure as grace enables me, that I leave every widow I come across, better than how I met them to the glory of God. I will not make it look so easy or simple but it has been achievable. Hopefully, through ROE, we will reach many more Widows and women and youths generally who are suffering or going through hardship or difficult times.

Our lives as each and every one of us knows it, must go on…

As an actor in this movie of my story, I am able to tell it from the point of view of experience and if there has been one key take away for me, it is that I learned the true meaning of compassion. You see, it is not enough to simply sympathize with people for their loss and move on, I am now able to give attention, support and care, comforting them in many different ways. Rhapsody of Experiences Youth and Women Empowerment Foundation was borne out of the embers of my pain. Widowhood was a tough life. It was an abrupt interruption of the progression or sequence of events that automatically changed the trajectory of my life but it is my delight to state that it has helped me to help other women navigate through that season of life and give them HOPE to thrive!

Welcome to my world of indescribable pains and ecstatic joys. I want you to know that regardless of what you pass through and as much as you would want to be woken up from a bad dream, truth is that “It is what it is”!

You must find ways to learn lessons from them, be grateful and move on. This involves appreciating fellow human beings and appreciating the value of life. This position helps you heal and toughens you, enabling you to work through, where you will be value add to others in similar situations and come out stronger and perhaps better and yes. Things are definitely never going to be the same again, which is true but they can actually be better.

If you are reading this right now and you need counseling on any relationship or lifestyle issue, you can connect with me on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn. The handle is Ifeoma Chigbogwu. 

Thank you for stopping by.